Empty Chairs At Empty Tables

londongrimshaw:

[falls in the shower] parkour

How to braid your hair:

lucifersblog:

washingtub:

  • Wet hair
  • Comb through
  • Separate at the part
  • Draw a pentagram on the floor
  • Perform blood sacrifice
  • Offer up your soul to the devil
  • Chant ancient Latin conjuration spell
  • Summon Satan
  • Ask Satan to braid your hair

You know what?

Screw you. I am done braiding people’s hair. Do you know how many braids I have done today?

Thirty-fucking-seven.

And I don’t even get a “Hey Satan how’s it going your cloven hooves look fabulous today” it’s just “Braid it. Go.”


detainable:

if you don’t get my jokes then we can’t be friends

(Source: responds)

xld:

I need a hug or 6 shots of vodka

lunarspace:

danielodowd:

67080032a by j.counts on Flickr.

🌜🌲

poprocksforbreakfast:

officialfrenchtoast:

"hey don’t you have a crush on…"

image

that gif is perfectly looped wtf

knightscrest:

damn, i just got SERVED. by my waitress. this restaurant is excellent.

starllex:

my friend richie was really angry one time and he picked up a rock and threw it angrily at the ground but it actually didnt touch the ground it went straight into a gutter so he literally threw a rock at the ground and missed

equisollux:

zombiecthulu:

basedkuroko:

my friend is hiding under this bean bag in the library so he doesnt have to go to PE

image

the only way you can see him is if you get on the floor behind the bean bag and see the light of his phone

image

I bet he’s on Tumblr

I am

(Source: lolicutie)

sluttyoliveoil:

sluttyoliveoil:

what does the teen boy say after murdering a man

haha no homo(cide)